Being a strongly opinionated little nerd, I often find myself biting my tongue to avoid spitting out thoughts which may wind me up in a fair amount of trouble. See, the problem is, those who dislike my opinions are also those who hold positions of power capable of making my life very difficult. For example, I can NOT tell my school principal he’s a narrow minded, sexist bigot. I also have to make very certain that my essay outlining the, often humourous, downsides of Christianity does not fall into the hands of a bible-thumping grandmother.
I hate the fact that I live in this world where I am terrified of voicing my opinions. Of course, I know I have the right to freedom of speech. I know I can speak my mind without judgement (while not disrespecting others). Yet, I know for a fact that if most people knew what was really wirling through my head, I would be far more of a social outcast than I already am. An I’m already the weird bookwormatheistvegetariangeekgirl.
So, here, thanks to the fairly anonymous nature of this blog, I can shamelessly give forth my opinions without worrying about the devastating effects it will have on my already barren social life. I can not, no matter how hard I try, comprehend the basics of any religion. My brain will simply not fit around the idea that some greater being created us all. This does not, however, make me glad. It makes me feel left out, dejected. I wish I was able to believe that there is someone watching over me, that some all-powerful, mighty man-in-a-beard was looking out for poor little old me. Alas, my brain has been wired in a way so that all I can see is an amazing, beautiful, yet wholly unexplicable universe.
Again, I say, with a sort of nervous hopefulness, if anyone out there, anywhere, in the gigantic world of the internet sees this, and has any thoughts, please comment. It would be much appreciated and I would love to know if even one person is reading this.