Death and Doom and Gloom

At the sort of late hour of eleven at night, it is not advisable to start having deeply philosophical thoughts about your mortality.

I’m calmly consuming large amounts of popcorn while browsing the bottomless void of the internet when suddenly my brain springs an awfully hard to swallow thought on me. It says “Hey, you’re gonna die one day. As a person, a soul, an anything you will completely cease to exist”. This, quite obviously freaked me out and gave me a lot to think about. I have always known, somewhere at the back of my mind, that everyone dies It’s just a fact of life. Yet I had never delved into the notion full on until very recently.

As far as I believe, human (and all other forms) of life were not created, but rather occurred naturally. The planet coming to be in just the right position that the first little cell could come to life (yes, I know it’s not that simple, but for the purposes of the thought I’m attempting to convey, it works just fine).  If we go with this theory, then its safe to say that life has no meaning. If we were not created, and if we just happened, then there can not possibly be a purpose to our meager existence.

So, we are given a life. A life without any immediately apparent meaning, but a life nonetheless. Not only have we been given a life, we have also been given a human life. Now, this is even more special, because as far as we know, human beings are so far the only creatures with the mental capacity to even ask the question “Why am I here?”. Most may not be able to answer that, but many attempt it, as I did a couple of nights ago. The following is what I came up with. Firstly, our life really doesn’t have a meaning, but since you’re here, you might as well enjoy the ride. You could be here for anywhere up to and perhaps exceeding a hundred years, but after that you will cease to exist. You will be forever gone, and you won’t even know it because you will not exist.

If you are an atheist, I believe you have two main choices. Either you can have some fun, do stuff you like to do and try to make other people’s lives a little bit easier, or you can waste away what you are given and die without truly ever having lived.

Those with religious beliefs have a few more options. What makes me so very jealous of theists is the fact that they are confident in the fact that there is life after death. A part of me would like nothing more than to share this belief. It certainly removes a lot of worrying about ceasing to exist and all that. At least you can be confident in the fact that your soul will carry on after your body has not. On the other hand, this belief in an afterlife may lead to a person not grasping the opportunity of life fully, as they believe there is still more to come.

After this very confusing and scary thought session, I’ve become overwrought with a mixture of sadness, worry and confusion, and I simply hate it. I wish there was a way I could stop my mind from wandering to such worrying places, and simply enjoy being here. Alas, it appears that for the forseeable future, I will be stuck with this massive sense of foreboding.

Remember, bottomless internet void, I would love any opinions or thoughts about this rather strange topic!

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