Well, blogging is all around pretty cool. I mean, I get to do the creative writing thing, and write about whatever I want. Pretty damn awesome in itself. But it does appear as if this blogging thing has become less of a harmless creative outlet and more of a highly addictive hobby. So, I present to thee, bottomless internet void, my 5 Observations about this blogging thing (so far):
- Obsessive email checks: Every time I turn on my trusty old computer (which is far more often than I care to admit), I immediately open up my email in the hopes of seeing a friendly email from WordPress, telling me that I’ve acquired another follower. So far, that is not a very regular occurrence. When it does happen, I go onto some strange sort of rush lasts for the next few hours. Its just the most wonderful thing in the world. Its me, some random sixteen year old with a laptop, internet access and an urge to write, suddenly being informed that not only did someone read her writing, but someone read her writing and liked something about it! It’s a pat on the back, and it’s a feeling that makes me way happier than it should. PS: This obsessive email checking is usually magnified during the twelve hours after publishing a new post.
- The obsessive Stats Check: Straight after I check my email, I dash off to WordPress to check my stats. This is a bittersweet mixture of disappointment and pure glee. Glee because I may notice that someone viewed my blog. Disappointment because the view comes form the same country, and I realize it’s only my boyfriend. Then there’s the extreme, slightly scary happiness I get when I see someone from another country, somewhere first-world and sophisticated like America or the United Kingdom, has viewed my page. The disappointment because it is only someONE and not many.
- The Overflow of Ideas: I’ve heard it time and time again. Don’t publish too often or you will run out of things to write about. Easier said then done. I really do try my best to limit my posts to about once a week, but it is seriously difficult. I tell myself, surely more posts mean more views? Surely its better exercise for your writing skills? Surely all these millions of ideas flowing through your head aren’t going to disappear too quickly? I am being slowly drowned by the amount of half-written posts in my drafts folder. I keep telling myself to save them, that I have plenty of time, that I just need to save them for a few more days. I don’t even allow myself to finish them, or they’ll be published before my rational mind has a second to stop it. My rational mind really doesn’t have a lot of influence around these parts.
- The Strange desire to remain anonymous: I made a resolution to myself to not tell anyone about my blog. While this may cause an increase in the amount of traffic I get, I seriously have my reservations. If people know about the blog, there’s expectations. There’s criticism. I would have far less freedom when writing, because I would constantly be wondering what my mom or my friends or even some vague Facebook friend from primary school who barely remembers me may think. It would be a mistake, because I am, at heart, a people pleaser, and if people knew that it was me writing this, I would never be able to truly express myself. After a while, I did relinquish and I told only one person about my blog. My boyfriend has since become my real-life Alfred, he’s the only one who knows my dreadful secret, my double life, and he’s the only one who knows that I’m Batman.
- I LOVE this blogging thing: Blogging is absolutely amazing. It gives the perfect opportunity to practice and hone ones writing skills. I would stick to a diary, but it’s just so different. Writing in a diary is all about daily occurrences, my life and my feelings, and it’s all just for me. Blogging lets me write in a way that communicates. It’s so much easier to write this way, because I feel as if I’m trying to communicate a message, not just doodle some meaningless t=dribble about my feelings or the latest gossip. Even if only my Alfred is reading this post, even if only three or four people actually see it, its something, its three or four more who would have read it anyway. So even if, for the most part, this writing is only falling into the bottomless void of the internet, I get the warm-and-fuzzies knowing that bits and pieces are being snagged on branches on the way down, or that there’s someone standing at the bottom with a bucket, catching a little bit of meaning from my thoughts.
This is how I feel about blogging, and it has become something fun and almost necessary for me to do. If someone does happen to read this and shares my opinion, et me know! If you have a completely different outlook, that’s cool too, I’d love to hear it! I am now going to publish this post way too early, because my rational thought lost again and I let myself finish this post.