Motivation is Useless

Before I begin my main rant, here is a mini rant: WordPress, I do not speak American English! Stop taking the ‘u’ out of my colour!!

Motivational speeches are one of my biggest pet peeves. How can one possibly be motivated to change for the better after hearing a speech which starts and/or ends with ‘be the change you want to see in the world’? (don’t worry Gandhi, you’re still great)

I have never heard a motivational speech or read a motivational article which has actually, well, motivated me. The only thing these so-called life guides manage to do is make me feel grossly inadequate about my own lifestyle and achievements. Motivational speeches teach you how to be ‘perfect’. They give you step-by-step instructions on how to be the perfect student, how to achieve your dreams, that you can ‘do anything if you believe’. Well you know what, bottomless internet void? That is complete and utter bullshit. Now anyone who has read my previous posts knows that I am a huge advocate for stepping out of the societal mold and achieving great things, but come on! Repeating the rotting, boring quotes and following a step by step life plan will not in any way make your life great.

Modern Day Motivation creates the image of the ‘perfect person’. Now, I’m sure you know, Bottomless Internet Void, all about this perfect person. This is the person who has a color coded weekly planner and labeled refrigerator contents. This is the person who never has a wrinkle on their shirt. This is the person who woke up at four in the morning to exercise and make homemade muesli because they have this amazing superpower which allows them to be a morning person. Now I hate to break it to you, but this type of person is rare. But wait! That is not a bad thing. Do you want to know why? Well, as a society, we seem to be coming to grips with this little thing known as individuality. This is the fact that everyone is different, and has a different way of getting things done. Everyone has different routines (some people have none) and everyone has different preferences. If we all became products of Modern Day Motivation, we’d be a very boring bunch indeed.

So, Bottomless Void of the Internet, I present to thee, a few of my motivational tidbits:

  • Want motivation to study? No. Either study or don’t. Open your book or continue to read some random person’s ramblings.
  • Want to become more productive? Stop browsing the internet and go finish your homework.
  • Want to achieve your life goals? Start working

You can follow every single step-by-step life changing plan you come across, but your life is going to fuck some things up. You can not plan your life around a set of generic instructions written by someone who knows nothing about you.

Now I’m not saying that you should throw yourself into the deep end and not have any goals or aspirations. I’m just saying that Modern Day Motivation is one dimensional and your life is a beautiful, complex, painful and ever changing multi-dimensional thing.

Bottomless Void of the Internet, this is your life, not a homework task. It’s an adventure, not a meticulously planned spreadsheet. Go live it.

 

 

My Crazy Friend Has Gifted a Guest Post

So, a few days ago one of WordPress’ blogs suggested that we ‘widen our circle with guest bloggers’. Well, that’s exactly what my friend and I, Scoot, are doing. Prepare yourself for an extremely extroverted, opinionated, hilarious and highly entertaining experience. Be warned that Scoot is exhausting and you may have to take a nap to recover, but it shall all be worth it.

If you enjoyed it (and of course you will) then go to her very own blog. You’ll love that even more.

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Hi there…my name’s Scoot, and you don’t know me – yet. 😉 So yeah, I may or may be popping  over on THIS ANONYMOUS PERSON’s blog for a little bit. Shall we then?

Scoot on ~ the mystery that is sandwich making

So earlier this week I saw a post on 9gag about sandwiches and making , simply because I had nothing better to do except study for my chemistry final (and who needs to study for something that determines you passing or failing the year) and it did stir a few emotions within me – mostly those of hunger and lust…because it was a post about a sandwich. Also, it was Cyanide & Happiness, so it was funny. Here it is:

Sandwich

Now it seems like a regular Cyanide and Happiness cartoon, which it is. And some of you may be thinking, “So where’s the problem?Scoot, why are you getting so emotional over this cartoon? In cahoots over a toothpick? No! Go find a hobby!” Let me swiftly inform you that 1) This is my hobby, and 2) the problem didn’t lie there. It was between the comment – I came across it while observing human behaviour (STALKING STALKING STALKING) from afar. And the comment said (this has been abridged to suit all my readers):

“Whenever my sandwich is finished I just yell for a new one an my girlfriend does it. Haha you posers gotta mke ur own haha lol. I just say bitch I want a samwich! and then I get one duh. looosers”

THIS FUELS MY RAGE FOR TODAY.

What kind of society do we live in, that even one individual thinks that belittling females and using derogatory terms to describe them makes them a better person? I don’t know, maybe that’s not what they were going for…regardless, it’s ridiculous. This is the end of 2013, and attitudes seriously need to start changing in every facet of this sandwich making paradigm.

So just to clear things up: Women weren’t born to make sandwiches.  I don’t care whether you believe in Jesus, Satan, Mohammed, TV’s or llamas. It says NOWHERE in ANY holy book that sandwich  making was made for women! This is just another example of how some people think that it’s okay to assign menial tasks to another person simply because they so happen to be equipped with some more oestrogen. SHUT UP, BIGOTS!

On that topic: bigots, bigots everywhere. If you so happen to be one of them, may I suggest a video? It’s called Defined Lines, and is a feminist parody of Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines.  Watch that here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tC1XtnLRLPM

Back to the sexist sandwiches: exploitation of femininity is too common. OH COME ON! We’re not in the 15th century, and just because you see a pair of boobs on my chest, doesn’t mean I can make a sandwich! I mean, what is this “A woman won’t get married if she can’t cook” ideal? Look, what if (1) She doesn’t want to get married, (2) She doesn’t like cook, or (3) SHE WANTS TO VEGITATE ALL DAY? For goodness’ sake would you let  a girl be?

I mean,  not all of us are the perfect womanly shape, with zero blemishes,  knockout breasts and a behind that’s leave everyone else behind (see what I did there 😉 )  but that really doesn’t make us any less desirable than the next girl. Go ahead: Find your dream girl with her silicone tits and botoxed face, and see how that works out for you. No discrimination against those for cosmetic surgery, but in my experience fake girls on the outside are fake on the inside…just takes a little longer to spy out.

I love sandwiches, and I love making sandwiches, and I love eating sandwiches. I think many girls do to. But when you start to call me a bitch who does so on your yell?

And that is all I have to say for now, before going to indulge in MY OWN SANDWICH MADE BY ME FOR MYSELF ON MY OWN COMMAND (take a hint, bigots.) This is the end of le visit yo – it’s been real. 🙂

All my love, all the time

-Scoot xx

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Credits go to Cyanide and Happiness, your comics are highly perfect!

What did I tell you? Exhausting yet lovely… Go read all her things!

 

Journeys through teen angst and some semi-meaningful insights

Now, being a sixteen year old girl, I am subject to moments of teen angst. What you are about to view is a result of said angst. I do believe, though, that if you look deeper you may find something of value. And so, bottomless void of the internet, here is my meager sacrifice:

I want to be a legend. I don’t want to be unremembered. I don’t want to be a vague memory; a blurred, nameless face. I want people to think of me and remember something I did, or something I said. I want people to remember me for the good I did, but also for the bad. Not evil, but bad in the sense that I swam against the current. Bad in the sense that I questioned the awful, boring facade of society.I want my name to be relished and admired by the good guys.

I want the ‘bad guys’ to tremble in anger and shake their fists at me. I want the oppressors and the common dictators to spit after uttering my name. After I die, I want people to quote my words in inspirational speeches. After I’m gone, I want to be remembered as ‘the kick ass lady who fought for good’.Some people may say it’s naive of me to want to be a superhero. I say it’s naive of them to think that your life has to be average.

Now that I re-read this, it really is just some cliche teen angst writing. Please do not be angered, by my unpleasing offer, Bottomless Void of the Internet. I would sincerely appreciate any comments anyone out there may have. And who knows, perhaps the comments may please the Internet more than my post did….