My Crazy Friend Has Gifted a Guest Post

So, a few days ago one of WordPress’ blogs suggested that we ‘widen our circle with guest bloggers’. Well, that’s exactly what my friend and I, Scoot, are doing. Prepare yourself for an extremely extroverted, opinionated, hilarious and highly entertaining experience. Be warned that Scoot is exhausting and you may have to take a nap to recover, but it shall all be worth it.

If you enjoyed it (and of course you will) then go to her very own blog. You’ll love that even more.

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Hi there…my name’s Scoot, and you don’t know me – yet. 😉 So yeah, I may or may be popping  over on THIS ANONYMOUS PERSON’s blog for a little bit. Shall we then?

Scoot on ~ the mystery that is sandwich making

So earlier this week I saw a post on 9gag about sandwiches and making , simply because I had nothing better to do except study for my chemistry final (and who needs to study for something that determines you passing or failing the year) and it did stir a few emotions within me – mostly those of hunger and lust…because it was a post about a sandwich. Also, it was Cyanide & Happiness, so it was funny. Here it is:

Sandwich

Now it seems like a regular Cyanide and Happiness cartoon, which it is. And some of you may be thinking, “So where’s the problem?Scoot, why are you getting so emotional over this cartoon? In cahoots over a toothpick? No! Go find a hobby!” Let me swiftly inform you that 1) This is my hobby, and 2) the problem didn’t lie there. It was between the comment – I came across it while observing human behaviour (STALKING STALKING STALKING) from afar. And the comment said (this has been abridged to suit all my readers):

“Whenever my sandwich is finished I just yell for a new one an my girlfriend does it. Haha you posers gotta mke ur own haha lol. I just say bitch I want a samwich! and then I get one duh. looosers”

THIS FUELS MY RAGE FOR TODAY.

What kind of society do we live in, that even one individual thinks that belittling females and using derogatory terms to describe them makes them a better person? I don’t know, maybe that’s not what they were going for…regardless, it’s ridiculous. This is the end of 2013, and attitudes seriously need to start changing in every facet of this sandwich making paradigm.

So just to clear things up: Women weren’t born to make sandwiches.  I don’t care whether you believe in Jesus, Satan, Mohammed, TV’s or llamas. It says NOWHERE in ANY holy book that sandwich  making was made for women! This is just another example of how some people think that it’s okay to assign menial tasks to another person simply because they so happen to be equipped with some more oestrogen. SHUT UP, BIGOTS!

On that topic: bigots, bigots everywhere. If you so happen to be one of them, may I suggest a video? It’s called Defined Lines, and is a feminist parody of Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines.  Watch that here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tC1XtnLRLPM

Back to the sexist sandwiches: exploitation of femininity is too common. OH COME ON! We’re not in the 15th century, and just because you see a pair of boobs on my chest, doesn’t mean I can make a sandwich! I mean, what is this “A woman won’t get married if she can’t cook” ideal? Look, what if (1) She doesn’t want to get married, (2) She doesn’t like cook, or (3) SHE WANTS TO VEGITATE ALL DAY? For goodness’ sake would you let  a girl be?

I mean,  not all of us are the perfect womanly shape, with zero blemishes,  knockout breasts and a behind that’s leave everyone else behind (see what I did there 😉 )  but that really doesn’t make us any less desirable than the next girl. Go ahead: Find your dream girl with her silicone tits and botoxed face, and see how that works out for you. No discrimination against those for cosmetic surgery, but in my experience fake girls on the outside are fake on the inside…just takes a little longer to spy out.

I love sandwiches, and I love making sandwiches, and I love eating sandwiches. I think many girls do to. But when you start to call me a bitch who does so on your yell?

And that is all I have to say for now, before going to indulge in MY OWN SANDWICH MADE BY ME FOR MYSELF ON MY OWN COMMAND (take a hint, bigots.) This is the end of le visit yo – it’s been real. 🙂

All my love, all the time

-Scoot xx

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Credits go to Cyanide and Happiness, your comics are highly perfect!

What did I tell you? Exhausting yet lovely… Go read all her things!

 

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